gravity
""Every time I'm ready to leave
Always seem to be
Pullin' in the wrong direction
Divin' in with no protection
Man, you can't keep steerin' me wrong
Oh gravity
Pullin' me back
Pullin' me in
Why you pullin' me back
Pullin' me in
Just like gravity""
gravity,
-pixie lott-
i am not very sure if you guys either penah bace my rant about one lad particularly named mohd fadzli aswan?
okay,exaggeration.
i know its more like sumpahan dan makian
sbb i only tend to writes when he annoys me like hell.
so basically,im not doing him justice.
but what the heck kan?my blog,my way
haha.
(amaran:post yang akan ditulis secara panjang lebar)
ok,here goes.
we know each other wayyy back.since after spm
it was a bet.
through chatroom.time tu sume dok sakan gune mirc.
and knowing single sex school,die punye tarap kegatalan terhadap opposite single sex school adelah memuncak.
which bring him to my school channel
channel ni macam room utk budak2 taayah la,chat2
padehal tau je budak2 izzudin yang pegang dan memang tau je budak izzudin memang suke lepak room tu
being me,im quite famous kat room tu,being chatty and all that
since aku adelah pelopor kannn(pelopor here means org lame)...dari form 3 i tell u.
haha..time tu wa tak pandang budak izzudin.
ape barang bebb...typical!
so aku agak kerek la..biaselah,yang kerek2 ni la yang menjadik perhatian
nak2 plak wa manyak baik ng batch form 5 2001yang tak ngam langsung ng budak2 form 3(baye aku la kire)
so one day,he asked me.
"kalau aku ayat ko,agak2 ko cair tak?"
(mamat nih kaki ayat siot)
harusla melengking aku kate tak kan
ntah cemane,one day he started sweetalk with me
i dont buy it at the first place
tapi bile kwn die masuk campor
it seems reals
so,out of guilt im starting to bought evrything he said,
which ajak kapel la
the moment aku said yes,die bley kate "gotcha!"
memang babik la kan
oh..panas hati.
tapi after that the bet turns to be the real deal.
we coupled.
me being his first love,it was intense
there is his undivided intention,extreme jealousy
the long lasting phone calls evrynite
the msg evry hour of the day
and yes,the bajet-dating evry month.
at that time,we basically have nothing
we both were just starting out.
i mean he was doing his matriculation and me my diploma
he's in ipoh and im in kl.
tiap bulan save duit nak turun kl sbb nak dating
sampai pengsan and admitted pasal stomach ulcer
tak makan punye pasal
(dia la.aku tak.haha)
one thing i like about him,he's very generous with me.
dulu,my family are not well financed.
makan pon ckop2 je.
nak dating tgk wayang?memang tak la
so evry time we date,he's the one who will do the spending.
evrything that id wanted,he will try his damn best at fulfilling them
we dont have evrything,but atleast we were happy.
and things got easier.
he got an offer to do his degree in sabah(ums if im not mistaken).
and for my sake,for our relationship sake
he chose to start all over again at one private uni in kl so that we can be close after all the tiring LDR
(doing foundation programme all over again cause now he took an engineering field)
kat matrics amekk bio.
and again,pasal aku.
die minat bio.tapi i always said that ive always wanted an engineer boyfie.tapi dah terkapel dgn dia yang minat bio,aku sokong je la kan.takkan nak hentak2 kaki suro buat course die tak minat.
so,instead naik bas
skang dah maju setapak kehadapan.
kitorang kluar naik komuter and lrt
we survive evry obstacle,evry fight.
he accepts me for who i am.
no matter how bad i look
or how fat i am
or how gross i can be
for him,i will always be as perfect as a goddes to his eyes.
so,he provide this secureness around me.
i can be myself when im around him.
korek idong,hembus hingus u name it man
sume penah buat dpan die
kentut pon penah
haha.
senonoh kan aku?
but,the cracks start showing up.
when im done with my diploma.
bile aku start keje ng sapura.
bile my colleague sume adelah engineer
yang penah blaja kat aussie la, uk la
aku dpt tgk dunia luar that is more to life than love
i mean,come on
aku nak berjaya macam org lain okay
aku tanak stuck hanye dgn diploma dari private uni because i screwed up my spm
so i applied a scholarship to further my study oversea.
sorok2.without him knowing.
and when ive got the offer,tanpe berpikir panjang i told him im gonna go
no matter what it takes.
no matter how it will affect him,or our relationship.
he flipped off.more to devastated sbenanye.
and when i flew over to fulfil my dream,
he flunks his subjects where im so busy with mylife traveling bersuke ria di sini.
mind you,he is a best student
be it dari izzudin sampai la uniten.
so for him to flunk,that is a big deal.
and its all because of me.
i know,
i am that selfish.
but then i realise.
life is hard.
my life here sucks big time.
and i know its my fault that i caused so much heartache to the person i love most after my parents and family.
and i miss him.
i miss his company
i miss when life's hard,he'd be making jokes just to cheer me up
i miss the sudden appearances in front of my gate,just to have dinner with me
i miss his little short messages between now and then to tell me how his life was,how he missed me
and at that moment,the relationship werent that great either
we kept arguing over silly things
sometimes it took us 3 month after a fight to talk to each other again
i mean ive tried evry possible way to brought things together
but it just fail miserably
and i think i had caused him so much heartache
that it left a scar so deep it cant be fixed.
but i kept hoping
hoping that evrything would turn normal
turn to the old us.
but people changed.
he changed
heck,I changed.
and the circumstances are not helping much.
i mean with the LDR thingy
after 3 years trying
i think its time for me to quit,no?
ive tried the perfect girlfriend card
its not working.
its like when we argue,we kept going back
and its hurtful.
both for me and him.
and i finally realise it today
only today
that i should stop trying
stop hurting myself
stop hoping
to pali,
if u ever were to read this
im sorry.
i guess i never knew what i had until i lose you.
and the fault is all mine.
im done trying.
im done chasing you.
i wish you all the happiness in the world.
from now on,im gonna try hard to let you go
so God, help me let him go.
so that i can breathe easy from this guilt ive been carying all around.
and again,
im sorry.
again,quoting pixie lott,gravity.
Always seem to be
Pullin' in the wrong direction
Divin' in with no protection
Man, you can't keep steerin' me wrong
Oh gravity
Pullin' me back
Pullin' me in
Why you pullin' me back
Pullin' me in
Just like gravity""
gravity,
-pixie lott-
i am not very sure if you guys either penah bace my rant about one lad particularly named mohd fadzli aswan?
okay,exaggeration.
i know its more like sumpahan dan makian
sbb i only tend to writes when he annoys me like hell.
so basically,im not doing him justice.
but what the heck kan?my blog,my way
haha.
(amaran:post yang akan ditulis secara panjang lebar)
ok,here goes.
we know each other wayyy back.since after spm
it was a bet.
through chatroom.time tu sume dok sakan gune mirc.
and knowing single sex school,die punye tarap kegatalan terhadap opposite single sex school adelah memuncak.
which bring him to my school channel
channel ni macam room utk budak2 taayah la,chat2
padehal tau je budak2 izzudin yang pegang dan memang tau je budak izzudin memang suke lepak room tu
being me,im quite famous kat room tu,being chatty and all that
since aku adelah pelopor kannn(pelopor here means org lame)...dari form 3 i tell u.
haha..time tu wa tak pandang budak izzudin.
ape barang bebb...typical!
so aku agak kerek la..biaselah,yang kerek2 ni la yang menjadik perhatian
nak2 plak wa manyak baik ng batch form 5 2001yang tak ngam langsung ng budak2 form 3(baye aku la kire)
so one day,he asked me.
"kalau aku ayat ko,agak2 ko cair tak?"
(mamat nih kaki ayat siot)
harusla melengking aku kate tak kan
ntah cemane,one day he started sweetalk with me
i dont buy it at the first place
tapi bile kwn die masuk campor
it seems reals
so,out of guilt im starting to bought evrything he said,
which ajak kapel la
the moment aku said yes,die bley kate "gotcha!"
memang babik la kan
oh..panas hati.
tapi after that the bet turns to be the real deal.
we coupled.
me being his first love,it was intense
there is his undivided intention,extreme jealousy
the long lasting phone calls evrynite
the msg evry hour of the day
and yes,the bajet-dating evry month.
at that time,we basically have nothing
we both were just starting out.
i mean he was doing his matriculation and me my diploma
he's in ipoh and im in kl.
tiap bulan save duit nak turun kl sbb nak dating
sampai pengsan and admitted pasal stomach ulcer
tak makan punye pasal
(dia la.aku tak.haha)
one thing i like about him,he's very generous with me.
dulu,my family are not well financed.
makan pon ckop2 je.
nak dating tgk wayang?memang tak la
so evry time we date,he's the one who will do the spending.
evrything that id wanted,he will try his damn best at fulfilling them
we dont have evrything,but atleast we were happy.
and things got easier.
he got an offer to do his degree in sabah(ums if im not mistaken).
and for my sake,for our relationship sake
he chose to start all over again at one private uni in kl so that we can be close after all the tiring LDR
(doing foundation programme all over again cause now he took an engineering field)
kat matrics amekk bio.
and again,pasal aku.
die minat bio.tapi i always said that ive always wanted an engineer boyfie.tapi dah terkapel dgn dia yang minat bio,aku sokong je la kan.takkan nak hentak2 kaki suro buat course die tak minat.
so,instead naik bas
skang dah maju setapak kehadapan.
kitorang kluar naik komuter and lrt
we survive evry obstacle,evry fight.
he accepts me for who i am.
no matter how bad i look
or how fat i am
or how gross i can be
for him,i will always be as perfect as a goddes to his eyes.
so,he provide this secureness around me.
i can be myself when im around him.
korek idong,hembus hingus u name it man
sume penah buat dpan die
kentut pon penah
haha.
senonoh kan aku?
but,the cracks start showing up.
when im done with my diploma.
bile aku start keje ng sapura.
bile my colleague sume adelah engineer
yang penah blaja kat aussie la, uk la
aku dpt tgk dunia luar that is more to life than love
i mean,come on
aku nak berjaya macam org lain okay
aku tanak stuck hanye dgn diploma dari private uni because i screwed up my spm
so i applied a scholarship to further my study oversea.
sorok2.without him knowing.
and when ive got the offer,tanpe berpikir panjang i told him im gonna go
no matter what it takes.
no matter how it will affect him,or our relationship.
he flipped off.more to devastated sbenanye.
and when i flew over to fulfil my dream,
he flunks his subjects where im so busy with mylife traveling bersuke ria di sini.
mind you,he is a best student
be it dari izzudin sampai la uniten.
so for him to flunk,that is a big deal.
and its all because of me.
i know,
i am that selfish.
but then i realise.
life is hard.
my life here sucks big time.
and i know its my fault that i caused so much heartache to the person i love most after my parents and family.
and i miss him.
i miss his company
i miss when life's hard,he'd be making jokes just to cheer me up
i miss the sudden appearances in front of my gate,just to have dinner with me
i miss his little short messages between now and then to tell me how his life was,how he missed me
and at that moment,the relationship werent that great either
we kept arguing over silly things
sometimes it took us 3 month after a fight to talk to each other again
i mean ive tried evry possible way to brought things together
but it just fail miserably
and i think i had caused him so much heartache
that it left a scar so deep it cant be fixed.
but i kept hoping
hoping that evrything would turn normal
turn to the old us.
but people changed.
he changed
heck,I changed.
and the circumstances are not helping much.
i mean with the LDR thingy
after 3 years trying
i think its time for me to quit,no?
ive tried the perfect girlfriend card
its not working.
its like when we argue,we kept going back
and its hurtful.
both for me and him.
and i finally realise it today
only today
that i should stop trying
stop hurting myself
stop hoping
to pali,
if u ever were to read this
im sorry.
i guess i never knew what i had until i lose you.
and the fault is all mine.
im done trying.
im done chasing you.
i wish you all the happiness in the world.
from now on,im gonna try hard to let you go
so God, help me let him go.
so that i can breathe easy from this guilt ive been carying all around.
and again,
im sorry.
again,quoting pixie lott,gravity.
"I know I betrayed but I'm made to
Ignore the universe when I see you
Cause every night the stars will shine
Verging into U-turns times
Anythin' that they can just to change my mind
When I pass your road I can't help rewind
What is wrong with me?
All that I wanna be is
Through with you
And I know that deep down I'm callin' time on you
Ignore the universe when I see you
Cause every night the stars will shine
Verging into U-turns times
Anythin' that they can just to change my mind
When I pass your road I can't help rewind
What is wrong with me?
All that I wanna be is
Through with you
And I know that deep down I'm callin' time on you
Be quiet, let me leave, let me go
Don't say another word
Cause with every sound
You're pullin' me down
Baby,
You got a hold on me
Like gravity"
Don't say another word
Cause with every sound
You're pullin' me down
Baby,
You got a hold on me
Like gravity"
nur zatil iman
monday, 12th April 2010
ps:im happy guys.im saying my peace here.thats all.so dont worry okay? :p
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